We all have a special connection with all of our children. We all live to care for our littles and shower them with love. Sometimes, even with our best attempt to hide it, we need a little extra love and care when we hit a rough patch in life.
When my ex and I first split I had a really hard time with it. I felt like I didn’t have a reason why we were splitting, but it was obvious it was over. I was depressed. I had never been so overcome with grief in my life. I felt like my future and all the plans I had made for our family just slipped out of my fingers and were gone. But, there was this amazing little boy we had. At the time of the split he had just been 2 for a month, he was so little still Since the split, he has been my shadow and he has taught me so much.
He hugged me and patted me when I was crying on the kitchen floor. He tried to feed me when I wasn’t eating. He showered me with his little love because as much as he needed me, I needed him more. Because of my little guy I was able to pull myself out of that rut and quick. I started to work out and take walks with my dad in the evenings. I started seeing a therapist to help me work through what I was feeling. I started to find new hobbies to fill my time when my son was with his dad. And when I decided to start dating, my little guy helped me there too.
When I met J it all fell into place and things seemed too good to be true. I had felt like I had truly met someone that knew my soul. But, when my son met him that’s when I knew for sure that J was the one. My little guy has always been shy when meeting new people. When he met J, he hugged him and let him carry him the first day. He instantly took to J and that was the stamp of approval I needed. Nobody else’s opinion even mattered anymore.
As I sit here and type this blog, my little angels are right beside me. My eldest in the chair next to me playing and my baby boy in his rocker to my other side. I strive to be the best mama to these little guys that I can be. I will never forget what my first born babe taught me when our lives were changing so much. Sometimes the hardest lessons we learn are taught by the tiniest guardian angels.