How to Find Mom Friends?

Baby B turned the big 1 year old. We celebrated our beautiful, adventurous, charming little boy. I am so thankful for such a wonderful baby. I realized after his birthday that I have been a stay at home mom for 15 months already. The time has definitely flown by! I have kept myself very busy since leaving my more than full time job. Something has hit me lately though.

J started working six, 12 hour shifts. I have started to feel a little lonely. I’ve been yearning for some adult time. I feel like if I have to hear another cry, hear about mighty pups, video games, or school bus shenanigans over and over…I’m going to burst! I just want to have a conversation that is interesting and actually feels like an enjoyable conversation. It would be really nice to have a conversation with someone that loves the same stuff as me, girl stuff! I love my boys and my hubby so much but sometimes I want to talk about purses, target, and fall looks!

I feel like I have resorted to using some of my Facebook groups for this connection which makes me feel a little disconnected from the “real” world. I’m not afraid to admit it now, I need some like minded mom friends! HELP! I don’t know how to make friends now. I thought I met a potential mom friend at the museum last week. She texted me, I texted back, and then nothing. Ugh. I feel like a creep sometimes trying to pick up mom friends! It’s kind of hilarious and kind of totally awkward. (Ever notice how awkward looks awkward?) So the search continues. Now happily accepting all mom friend requests.

The Amazing World of Loveys

Becoming a stay at home mama has been a blessing and through this first year of staying at home with my boys I have seen a whole new side of “mom things”. One that has particularly caught my attention for the last few months has been Loveys. I’m talking stuff animals, or flat ones, things for little ones to love on! I feel like I have seen a whole new culture of collectors and moms (like myself) that want it all for their little ones.

So it began right before Easter. I saw an ad for Slumberkins on my Instagram feed. Cute right? YES! Then I read about them, their stories, and the purpose of each creature. I was hooked! I wanted one for each of my younger guys for Easter, so eventually I gave up the cash and purchased the Slumber Sloth Stuffie for my littliest man and Bigfoot for my 4 year old. I was hesitant to spend the money…I wondered if my little guys would take to them or not.

Well, turned out they loved them too. We read the books constantly and as we have grown our collection the boys have loved each and every book. I turned into a major fanatic of Slumberkins and joined their VIP group and loved the culture of the group and got geeked out like all the other moms for all the new drops. I definitely think this was a gateway to being exposed to more loveys. Now I keep seeing more and more amazingly crafted loveys from these handmade small shops. And you guys, their following is crazy!

I found out how hardcore the Slumberkins fans were when I tried to “score” a jellyfish mini and my newbie hands were not fast enough! Wow, I was impressed with these mamas! I didn’t know their were tricks and hints to make sure you get one of these little treasures. Then I start reading on another group about “cart buddies”. THIS is a real thing, people pair up to make sure they get what they want on these limited edition drops! I don’t know if I have been living in a hole, but my mind has been blown. I have seen some of these plush, lovable things go for upwards of $250 to $300 on buy, sell, trade pages. O-M-Geeee!!!

After being in shock from all this, I have decided to hang my fan girl hat up for a while. I honestly love watching these VIP/ fan pages and seeing all this love for small shops and handmade. For now, I will stick with my Slumberkins addiction. I will sit back and watch all the other cute things drop, be shipped, and be loved on by all these adorable littles. Although, Monster and Eli have definitely caught my eye!

The Bumpy Road to My Potty Trained Toddler

My soon to be 4 year old, stubborn, strong willed son has been “potty training” for what seems like forever. We tried a reward system, we tried convincing him he was a big boy and he didn’t need to wear diapers anymore, we tried the 3 days without diapers….twice. Nothing seemed to be working.

He would tell us things like, “I’m not ready” or “It’s hard for me”. We would validate his concerns and ask him why he wasn’t ready or why it was hard. His answer was his favorite answer when he does not have a real reason, “It’s why mommy”. (I still am not completely sure what that means.) When we did the reward system he would only go potty when he knew we had prizes and when the prizes ran out, he suddenly ran out of pee pee for the potty. Oh, my little smarty pants was totally working us.

I was devastated that nothing seemed to work and he could not stay consistent with the potty training. I would call my mom and ask for advice. She would assure me that it was okay, some kids take longer to potty train. I wasn’t satisfied with that answer after hearing it time and time again. (I should have trusted her, she is my mom you know.) So, I did what every mom does. I googled it. Why isn’t my toddler potty training? Potty training a stubborn toddler. The lists goes on and on. Then I admitted it to myself that yes, I do have a strong willed son and a resistant potty trainer.

After all my google research, I decided to lay off the potty training and see what would happen. I waited and then waited some more. Then, last Monday my son woke up and said “I don’t want to wear these diapers anymore!”. I had not had one sip of my morning coffee yet, so I was still trying to process what he had said with so much excitement. I responded with “Okay, so what would you like to wear today?”. He said, “big boy undies!”. I was celebrating and doing a happy dance in my head. He wore his big boy undies and he has been wearing big boy undies for three days straight!

He got mad on the first night when we put a diaper on him for night time. We though he might wet the bed and he proved us wrong. He popped out of bed, ran to the potty, and changed back in to his big boy undies. The thing that he did seem to have a fear about was doing #2 in the potty and he was successful with that too! Can I tell you what kind of excitement and glow we both had after that success! We were both on top of the world! We made some fun cupcakes in celebration of his potty success. If you would of told me a few years ago that I would be baking cupcakes to celebrate poop in a potty, I would of laughed! Motherhood can make us do some inexplicable things.

So, after all of our ups and downs with potty training I have come to a conclusion. If you are like me and struggling to potty training your toddler, don’t feel bad. Don’t doubt yourself as a parent and don’t doubt that little one either. The amazing thing about being a parent is you learn so much along the way. With this potty training adventure I have learned that sometimes you have to stretch your patience even farther then you thought possible but it pays off in the end. I learned a lot about my little guy too. I learned how strong willed he is and it always amazes me how smart he is. I’m not mad at him for potty training on his terms. Somethings take longer to adapt too. I don’t ever want him to lose that stubborn streak or strong will because that might just help him get through challenges in life. The last lesson I learned throughout our potty training adventures is always listen to your mother!

Payment by Toddler Hugs and Kisses and Baby Giggles and Grins

Sometimes being a stay at home mom and being able to contribute zero dollars to the family funds is frustrating. I went from being a very high earner with my retail management job to bringing in zero. We made the choice as a family to go from two incomes to one. This was definitely a hard decision to make, but the “pay” I get from my job now is priceless. I am going to admit I wonder if I made the right decision some days because I feel like we aren’t where we want to be financially. My husband is great at reminding me that what I am able to give our boys now is so, so very important. I am so thankful for his never faltering attitude about our decision for me to stay home with the boys. But, still I feel a little guilty now and then about not contributing to our cash flow.

When I was at my management job I had a handful of older ladies that were retired and working for fun that had been SAHMs for their kids years and years back. I remember one of them telling me a few days before I left my position that staying home with your kids is so amazing and to remember that sometimes money might be tight, you might not be able to go out to eat or go out of town as often, but it was the most valuable thing you could do for your little ones. Every time I wonder if I made the right choice for our family on our financial side, I think of her. I remember her telling me that so vividly and wondering if I would have those days and sometimes I do. So maybe it takes longer to pay off a credit card bill or a car payment. That is okay and I have to remember to be okay with that. If you are feeling like things are tight because you are staying home with your babies just remember you are so valuable. The value you are giving to your kids surpasses any amount of money a salary could pay you. You, stay at home mama, are priceless.

Simple Acts of Kindness

Today while Baby B and I were out, a gal passing me while I unloaded our groceries into our car offered to wheel my cart to the cart corral for me. Wow, what a great gal! I was so thankful for her act of kindness and it made me stop and think….

I was at a super center, so it was a very busy atmosphere. Through out our shopping trip I kept getting cut off by other peoples carts and getting blocked in, etc. I was starting to get a little frustrated. Then at the end of my shopping trip, after I had walked three parking lot aisles looking for my car (I forgot I hadn’t parked in my usual spot), this lady helped me out. Something so simple, but so nice. I didn’t have to take my cart to the cart corral with the babe.

This friendly, kind woman reminded me of a post I saw a few days back, it said something like: “Real queens fix each other’s crowns.” She was a queen. She was there just when I was about to lose my cool and she gave me a helping hand. It made me feel like she had my back. Even though I didn’t have my family with me to help me; I had her, a fellow queen. So if you are out there and struggling through your day mama, we’ve all been there. Even if you are not a mama, you’ve been there and had those days. You are not alone. So if you see someone having one of those days, give them a helping hand. You may never know what kind of impact it may leave.

The strength of our human connection is sometimes underestimated.

We Love Tucson!

We recently had my sister and her husband visit us from Alaska. While they were here we were able to play tourists in our hometown. We had so much fun and it reminded us why we love living here so much! We had beautiful weather and this time of year we have many events to go to that are really unique to our city.

We hit up the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show with our Alaskan visitors.
There are many different showcases that come to town for this annual event and there are many venues to choose from. We have always loved to visit the 22nd Street Mineral & Gem Show. We love this one because it has a lot to offer but is a good size with our little ones in tote. My toddler loves all the dinosaur bones, fossils, and of course all the different rocks!

Our Family at the 22nd Street Mineral and Gem Show with some dinosaur bones behind us!

The 22nd Street showcase is great because its $3 to park and entry is free. We always bring some cash to pick up a few trinkets from our venture which is always fun for my toddler and I am sure Baby B will love it when he gets a little bigger. You can spend a lot of money at these shows if your in the market for some stones to set or a unique piece of jewelry, but we just love to look and see all the different products brought in from around the world. After spending a big part of our afternoon there, we had a great early dinner and walked around downtown to the shops. We ended our adventure with some delicious ice cream from Desert Dream Ice Creamery on 4th Ave. What kinds of things do you love to do in your city that are unique to your area? We would love to hear!

Our trinkets we bought: two dinos carved from stone, a tortoise, and an elephant figurine.

Believe in Me

There is so many reasons why I love J so much, the list grows each day. Something I have noticed lately is he truly, 100% believes I can do anything I set my mind to. This is the man you should marry. The one who sees your potential and doesn’t hesitate to encourage you to follow your dreams.

I wanted very badly to stay home with our baby boys, but I did have a lot of doubts before leaving my career of 11 years. I wondered if we could budget and stick to it (we still have work to do here). We both made good incomes and one of our incomes was enough to live off of but there is a major transition time from going from two incomes to one. When I was still working we could go out to eat all the time and go for quick weekend trips whenever we had the time. That was the thing, we didn’t have as much time together. Now we have time but sometimes we don’t always have the discretionary income to do whatever our hearts desire, which is okay. It’s great to have the extra money, but I wouldn’t trade the time with my boys for the money again. I doubted our abilities to budget, but J never did. He kept telling me when I was trying to make this decision to leave my career that we would make it work. Here we are, 7 months after me leaving my job and we are making it work.

Still, some days I feel like I am failing at being a stay at home mom. The baby has been cranky and crying all day and my toddler has been defiant. Some of those days I just want to cry, some of those days I do cry. J always hugs me and tells me I’m the best mom and that there will be hard days. Sometimes his hugs are all I need to know that it will be okay and tomorrow will be better.

There are two things I always wanted to do but never had the time when I was working. That was to blog and to start my own Etsy shop. Now that baby B is enjoying sitting in his rocker or swing, I feel like my hands are freed up. I was nervous to do both of these things, but J knew I could do it. He always believes in me and that is invaluable to me.

It doesn’t matter the situation, he never loses faith in me and frankly, he believes in me more than I do most of the time. As we get older we definitely change what we value in our relationships. I know now that J always believing in me means he will always believe in us. I can’t tell you how much love that fills my heart with. That is definitely the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

From Our Wedding Day in Eagle River, Alaska. I was 4 months pregnant with Baby B and it was far too cold for this AZ girl to be wearing that dress, but I did anyway.
Photo Credit: Uros Nikolic