Thursdays are always a little quieter in our house. It’s the day of the week, every week, that my 3 year old son is always at his dad’s house. This day is always a struggle for me, so I call it my down day. Down day can be interpreted two different ways and how we handle that determines how our day will go.
The first way to interpret down day is to be down, sad, and cry at everything. I’m not better than this interpretation of down day, I have done this many times. I will feel sorry for myself and make myself feel like the victim of the situation, of my previous marriage. I know that many parents with joint parenting time feel the same heartache I feel on these days; knowing that I’m not the only one that feels this way helps me on these days. I have to remind myself that my son needs his biological dad too, he needs to know him, he needs to spend time with his grandparents. That is all good for him and what he needs always wins over what mama needs. When I feel like I’m doing what is right for my son that makes me feel a little better too.
The second way to interpret down day is to think of it as a reset day and to reflect on what’s going on in our lives. And now I have a baby B to snuggle with and reflect with on these down days. When I start my day as this kind of down day, my day is much brighter. I reflect on everything I am thankful for and maybe even get a few extra chores done.
Down days aren’t easy but we have to make the most of the cards we have been dealt. We can’t give in and be down and sad on these days because we need to take care of ourselves so we can be the best mamas and daddies that we can be when all our little ones are around. We don’t want our littles to feel bad or guilty when they go to their other parent’s house. That’s not fair for them. Yes, sometimes we will be sad and give into that down day but we don’t have to stay there. This year I AM going to have more down days that I reset and reflect and less down days where I am sad. If I end up having a few sad down days here and there, that’s okay. We have to have a goal and even if we mess up, know we are doing the best we can.